this was composed by someone i know.

The Weird and Twisted Mind of a Crazy Jackass

It's once said that words can makes a difference and change everything if you think about it. There is one word that if you think it through that doesn't agree to it.
If everything were to go well between us, it would never be as how it is. If it wasn't the past, the future won't be as it is for me and you. You said "you are my everything." but if one day, I left this world, would that still be true?. If you did meant what you'd say in the past "going through thick and thin together" things would be better for me and you. You said "if only you were there for me."and I replied silently "would you do the same for me too?". If everything goes as how you want it to, then there is no point and/or meaning for me being there for you and with you.
What if things weren't as how it is now? that's something neither of us can conclude. If I recalled correctly, you said I was your sunshine but what happens when that sunshine left you for a moment and the moon is the one to accompany you?. You said it's all my fault, come to think about it, it wont be if it wasn't for you. The happiness, the sadness and others, is it worth me doing it if it's not for you. You asked "how am I suppose to go on a day without you?" guess what, if that's what you asked, now you have the answer to it too.
Now it's me that wasn't there for you like how you always said it so true, if you spare a thought and not think about only you, you will come to realized that I've always been there and doing it for you. There have been so many things we've overcome together in the past, something that can only happen when we were together if it ever crossed to your mind. Have you thought about all these before, everything would turn differently if only you knew. Anyways, with all that said and if you think about it, I'm glad that I'm through with you.

Who?

You are the source of my everything. No matter what was planned, the outcome will still be by you. You made me think about everything. The past wasn't how it is if it's not because of you. Yeah I have to admit, at times I regretted what I did in the past as not only does it hurts me but it hurts you too.
Everyday, I pray that what ever happens in the past won't repeat itself again for the sake of you. No matter what the future holds, it will still have you for the past paved the way for the future. Needless to say, you have always been in my heart. I may have drifted away at times by whats' around me but never have I pushed you aside. Those feelings I experienced, I know it's real and it's true. Never have you fail to make me smile and frown too.
Not only have I made mistakes along the way, but I did have good and great memories thanks to you. Sometimes I asked myself "what would my life be without you?" What ever the future holds I will always dedicate it to you. You always gave me strength when I needed it the most.
The future will reveal itself I know i will and I have never doubted you. Every time the sun rises in the morning, I'm happy to know that I get to live another day because of you. There is no point for me to keep thinking about the wrong doings I did in the past but for to keep moving forward and try to make every second count for you. Hear me out, I will always be grateful and thankful towards you this I say is true till death put me through.
If there's anything I would ask for, that would be for you to continue lead me through. I know one day I will leave this world but that will never be the end of us I'm sure, this I promise you.

i am brain dead. i was sick for the past one week up till now. i was on mc for three days followed by a two day off. work has been sucky. n do i need to say that im still having flu n forever coughing like mad.

previously, qatar flt was on ground for three bloody days. i have to help transfer 200 over pax to other airlines. i was realli having a bad headache on that day n i felt like passing out. luckily i didnt.

then on a different day, i came across this suicidal maid who was suppose to fly last sat. but till now i think shes still in singapore. she was on transit from doha n she was afraid to go anywhere. afraid to board the aircraft. she thought we gna send her back to doha. i was told that her boss abused her very badly at doha till she became screwloose. when shes on the flt from doha on the way to singapore, she tried to jump off the aircraft from the emergency exit door. then when we want to send back her to jakarta since shes onli on transit, captain wants her to b offloaded from the aircraft as he doesnt want to take any responsibility off her as she stubbornly chose to sit on the floor in the aircraft rather than enjoying the cosyness of the chair.

next day, i still did gate qatar again n dis maid was taken as one of the joining pax. but during this time, she tried to kill herself by falling down the escalator from the top headfirst. according to my colleague who happens to be escorting her n was present during the fall, the impact of the fall looked really bad. but she didnt even whimper after the dramatic fall. instead, she sat one corner, hands folding across her legs with her scarfhead hiding her face. maybe shes used to far worst treament back in doha, thats y the fall does not leave any impact on her. n got one particular time when the airline rep tried to make a joke abt her, she smiled. n when she smiled, i swear she looked like shes in her right mind. i think shes not that crazy. shes just wants attention from ppl ard.

n then tdy, i was doing gate sriwijaya when i got to noe that the flt was delayed for 1hour. central was aware abt this, but still insists me on doing the flt n then still wants me to do gate qatar. i was very bloody pissed. what wif my pax on sriwijaya who lost his passport, with the refuelling reaching very late. with me having to liase with aircraft supervisor to offload this pax bag. its very messy. n i got to noe that there were two senior staff who can take over my qatar gate. but central still wants me to do it. dont they noe that its gna be fucking rushing for me??!!! when i reached central after sriwijaya to get ready my things to gate qatar, ppl ard me were talking to me. but i was practically ignoring everybody. i felt really good after giving them the cold shoulder.

when i reached qatar ctr before going to gate, these two ppl i mentioned previously were happily shaking legs when i have alot of things in mind pertaining to work. i noe its not their fault as they are not aware of it cos central didnt inform them aniting, but its just very sucky that i have to do everything. if this kinda thing gna go on forever, i think im gna end up being like the suicidal maid. only alot more prettier. haha. ok wateva la sadiqah.

at the end of the day, i was brain dead. so i decided to skip school n met gf. she realli made me feel a whole lot better. thanks love.


if i could handle the previous, surely i could handle this too. dear god, pls gve me strength.

(hip hip hurray! i PASSED my TP with 10pts! now i can legally drive the car!! cant wait! woohoo!)

that was what i tot before driving his car.

yest aft getting my QDL, i decided to drive bf's car to kallang leisurepark. he suggests us to watch movie n insisted on watching "confessions of a shopaholic" with me, but ended looking very sleepy in the movie.

after watching, it was already 930pm. i drove back home. on my way out of kallang, i was stopped by a traffic police! hahahah!!!!! he finds me suspicious n tot that i was driving w/o licence. i must look like a sucker when driving. bleargh.
but wat the hell. that was considered my first day after being qualified with a licence okay! gimme a break.

oh ya. i forgot to mention that i almost hit a car on daylight yest,all thanks to him for making me so kancheong. n i almost hit a bike too at night. this was my fault as i wasnt vigilant whn driving at night. what with all the suncover around his car. n with him practically shouting at me when i was very panicky n frustrated at the same time. n yest was my very first time driving at expressway. so im not used to the tension as u have to follow with other road users' fast pace. he was nagging at me, saying that i cannot drive like this, cannot that.. bla bla bla... he was such a pain in the ass. one word: nuisance. it was really annoying ok. u noe im not good with directions n u noe that im still adapting on driving a car, dont expect too much from me! i noe im not a good driver n i noe i still have my weak points. but stop pushing me n stop pressurising me! stop breathing on my neck! many many thanks to u for spoiling my day.

now im starting to think twice to drive a car. but i noe i still have to.

ohmygawd. one day left! one day left!

<25mar09> 1833hrs: tak mau marah marah lah. take care when going out. i will pick u up later. i wan to c u smile.

sapppppp!!!

give me some time alone. please. i need air to breathe.

*sighs* finally i got to go online. went to gf's crib with darling ina few days back. tot of karaoke-ing. but got to noe last minute that gf's bro hid the mike somewhere. haha! so we watched dvd. n surprisingly, gf cooked curry chicken for us! wahlaowey! she sure noes how to cook the potatoes n chicken really well. like the saying goes,"if yan can cook,so can you!"

then,yan asked us to make her up. tak habis2 bdk tu. nk berdandan aje! ina dolled her up first while i was busy watching the dvd. then came my turn. poor izyan have to rub off her makeup for the umpteenth time. hehe. this were some updated pics.
done by me. yea i noe. could have done better. basically there's no other color for me to play ard with.

yup. thats the curry chicken.

i really had fun w girfies. we MUST(!) hang out again okay! saaayyyy... this weekend?? us three n ayu. hmmm. have to ask ayu. nta die jadi g batam ke tak on that day.

this is what i had for lunch today. it doesnt look that appealing,i noe. but it does tastes SEDAPPP! its yam,sweetcorn,and mango ice-cream, topped with choco cornflakes and "CRUNCH" chocolates chunks.

p.s. where is the love?